Relationship & Intimacy Coach

Being stuck sucks.
Whether it’s a looping thought, a flat tire, a repeating fight, a delayed flight, or a sticky emotion, when we’re stuck, it feels like we’re victims to our circumstances. For some, life itself can feel like a never-ending hamster wheel.
The truth is, you have multiple options in every moment, even if they’re not obvious. Maybe you can’t change your circumstance, but when connected with the wise part of yourself...

Sometimes, our lives feel like a push.

Other times, we feel pulled.

And if we’re not paying attention, the demands of the push – things like obligations, achieving, performing, fitting in, acting from scarcity, time constraints – can overwhelm our lives. Meanwhile, the pull – in this case what we’re drawn to or curious about, the tugs from our gut, movements toward pleasure, and what beckons us in quiet listening – can become a distant stranger.

To begin to unpack this concept, it’s important to understand that at The Verdant Collective, our definition of ‘sex’ is much more vast than what you’ve likely been taught. To say that sex is an act of masturbation or sexual intercourse is to sequester it to a manageable and relatively small part of our lives. We might even let ourselves neglect our sexuality to some degree when the thought of it sounds hard, complicated, vulnerable, or dangerous.

I just got back from Italy and things felt different there. Aside from the airport, I didn’t see a single TV, not in any restaurant, not in any room I stayed. And I kept noticing most of the restaurants weren’t playing music over loudspeakers. Instead, we could hear the sounds of a busy kitchen with knives chopping, sauces stirring, and bowls banging; and a sometimes lively, sometimes quiet dining room with the lyrical sounds of many languages converging while forks clinked against plates and wine poured from carafes. It was truly lovely.